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Things I Can't Say

 

Since my father died

there are things I can't say

things I won't say

things, I've not words to say

becoming anew does not take away the bad

growing small does not remove pain

since my father died

there are things I can't say

things I won't say

things, I haven't any words to say

that we will get better at getting better

that we will eradicate the bad and leave only room for good

that the good becomes fragmented and the bad, a memory

that I will forget you ever existed

that we existed

that many days ago, the sun shone

your body was still warm

if you were waiting on an island for me,

I would not be upset

like the Flies, like the Pearl, like small Mice and Big Men

you changed me

It doesn't pain you like it pains me

like it pained me

like I am pained

I can see it, but I don't know how to get there

I can see you, but I've not a way to get there

like I can see it, but there exists too many ways to get there

2021

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